Loves Melissa Joan Hart

String Backpacks

Saw a grown-ass man wearing one of these yesterday. They're not acceptable on any human.

HOWEVER, could be a dealmaker if it was only big enough for - and in the shape of - credit cards or a cell phone, but only if it is worn on the back.

Thinking Five Finger Shoes Work For Anytime.

These are the new "thing" in running, I get that. But they are NOT for dates, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, or any kind of party where you must socialize with people. They should not replace actual shoes or become commonplace in your going-out attire. Stop texting me because we're through.

Dealmaker of the Day

Brings his own whale floatie to the pool.
Anna had to gasp for air when she saw two dudes
freeing their Willy at Barton Springs last night.

Thinks Sports Jerseys Count As Actual Clothing.

Jerseys are for game days only. Don't wear them on dates, bros. It's not doing anything for your figure. Oh, and I HATE IT.

Dealbreaker of 1900: He Doesn't Want Me to Vote.

Cartilage Piercings

I think I'm gonna vom.

Hates Tim & Eric

"It's not funny."
You know what's not funny? Prison Break. I know how much you like that. Get outta my house!

Only Reads/Wants To Talk About Nietzsche.

I love to read and I'm a smart person, got it? But I don't want to only talk about Nietzche all the time. I happen to enjoy other forms of literature, including a little piece of journalism I like to call In Touch Weekly. Ever heard of it? Don't call me back.

Claims He Never Gets on Facebook.

Do you think you're better than me? Big deal that I look at Facebook before I even go to the bathroom in the mornings and I can't bear to close it down at night.

If you have a profile, you're looking at it 25/7 and don't pretend you aren't. So lame. We're through.